Three and a Half Years Sober – @SoberMovement

Three and a half years sober. I never knew how great life could be …. without…. having alcohol as my security blanket. Really, though for a couple of decades I’ve just been carrying around a rotten blanky, so-to-speak! I never really needed it and I didn’t see alcohol for what it was. Rotten for me. Not an ice-breaker, not an edge. A happy moment or relaxing arvo wind down.
I’d get completely trashed. Then in m late thirties I was having benders. I couldn’t get enough. My sadness grew with a drink, it didn’t diminish. My alcohol wasn’t my friend but my enemy.
It was a choice I made. One day as clear and defined as a click of the fingers.
Do I want to leave my children on earth with the legacy….”Mum was an alcoholic?”
And also “How many chances was I getting, really??”
One day I’d stuff up properly.
I stopped.
I became the mum I always thought I was.
Motherhood is great. One can’t do both. No matter what one says to oneself! I’ve got this!! More like ??
I never knew I could feel so balanced. How healthy my hair could look. My skin given the chance to heal and shine.
I’ve rediscovered the hobbies I’ve always loved. Animals, gardening, children.
I’m working.
I’m an excellent listener and friend. It’s nice to be back. Nice to be able to know who I am, authentically.

Anita

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