Nightcap Turned Into An Addiction

It started with a nightly drink. Mostly to deal with my daughter’s illness. I’ve never been much of a drinker. I wasn’t a big drinker ever until I turned 21. Yet, when my daughter got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, the only way I could deal with it was having a drink. One drink turned into two drinks which became 1.5 L of vodka every 2 days stop. From there I started drinking during the day and hiding bottles in my closet from my husband, just to get through the day; especially on weekends. I would put vodka and water bottles while I was out with my family. I would pass out in the kitchen and not remember what I did the night before and it just got worse and worse and worse. I didn’t even enjoy it anymore. I just did it to cope. Even after my daughter started getting better the drinking got worse. I thought if I quit drinking liquor and move to beer or wine I would be fine. That wasn’t the case. Then one night after being belligerently drunk and passing out, I woke up the next morning to go to work hungover and had the worst feeling ever. I just couldn’t go on like this anymore. That was on October 26th 2017!

I have been clean and sober since then. The first couple of months were hard. The Cravings were hard but I kept going because I knew it was the best for me and my family. I don’t even want to drink anymore. The smell of vodka makes me physically ill and the craving is just not there. I am a better mom, better wife and a better person because I got sober. And things turned out better for me all in all. I got promoted to a better paying job. I have dropped a bunch of weight, which is awesome in itself, and I’m just happier. It honestly makes me sad to know that people are out there struggling with alcoholism and just don’t feel there’s a way out. But even at 41, celebrating my birthday sober and happy, was the best feeling in the world. We can all do this! We can keep doing this and there is so much more to live for once you’re sober. Thank you for letting me share my story.

Contributor: Karyn

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