One Step At A Time
Hi y’all! My name is Mariana.
What can I say? Today I get to enjoy another sober day. I stepped into the rooms of AA pretty suicidal and extremely depressed. I had a 10 year drinking career and what started as happy hour and dance nights, quickly turned into drinking my feelings and my reality away. I was in trouble. I lived quite the double life, always happy on the outside and I was dying on the inside. It took me time to realize I had a problem. I was in denial, I thought that eventually I could grow out of it.
Unfortunately, my body reacts to the first drink and craves more; my mind makes me believe that I can handle just “one drink”. One drink is too many and a thousand is not enough. I was lost in my sorrow, my fear, my past, my mistakes.
I couldn’t find the last piece of the puzzle. I was looking for it all around. For the life of me, I could not stay sober longer than a week. It took for me to hit a new different kind of bottom and for me to swallow my pride and step into the rooms of AA. To my surprise, I heard myself in different stories and decided to give it a chance. I got a sponsor and started working the steps.
Life has taken on a new meaning, I have had my peace restored.. and that’s all I ever wanted.I am 3 months sober now and things are starting to come back slowly, and I am extremely grateful for the AA community and the program.
My sobriety is not owned, it’s rented and rent is due everyday!