This is NOT how this life is going to end
If you think you have gone too far down the scale to see the light, you may want to continue reading this…..”this is not how this is going to end”. First and foremost, the disease of addiction DOES NOT discriminate…Park Avenue to Park Bench…No one in my immediate family was quite as outrageous as “Karen”. Great upbringing, but I knew at a young age I was different. It got to a point in life however that the only person of quality substance I had left in my life was my mother. When she finally tracked me down, her one question to me was “would you like to be cremated or buried and what color casket would you like if burial is your choice?’ She ultimately cut ties with me shortly after that. I was alone. After losing my son twice to the Department of Children and Families before he was even 2 years old, 3 DUI’s within 5 years, over 2 decades of inpatient treatments, hospitals, Baker Acts, jails, halfway houses, loss of jobs, loss of family, loss of my soul, walking the streets of Tampa Bay and surrounding counties wondering how and where to get my next fix, who I could manipulate, degrading my body, multiple injuries including my mouth wired shut for 7 weeks after coming to from a blackout, becoming suicidal and homicidal, abusive relationships, and all the insanity that comes with substance abuse, at 37 years old, I knew that I could no longer go on like this.
I was either going to die OR do something I had never done before. I made a decision to let go of the FEAR and give recovery a try. I had to reach to something greater than myself to restore me to sanity and although there were many times in my early recovery that I wanted not so much to use, but behave in other ways to get what I wanted, I refrained and trusted that God would provide…and He did. As those times of Him providing based on me doing the next right thing kept on happening, I knew He was good and I knew I wanted more. I finally decided to do something else different….WORK A PROGRAM of RECOVERY (Get in the middle of the damn boat for real this time!)!
I am coming up on my 3 years of recovery at 40 years old and I am living a life really beyond my wildest dreams. At a young age I dropped out of college and could not pursue my dreams of marketing, but I am now the Director of Marketing at a treatment center here in Florida. I have been reunified with my son who is now almost 6, I have restored nearly all of the relationships that were once beyond repair, most importantly with my mother and father. I am a single, fully self supporting woman in recovery and no longer a hopeless soul walking the streets of Florida. God is Good and if YOU can just believe in that mustard seed of Faith that every person on this great earth has, and go for it, your life may just not end like that either.